Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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