Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
