i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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