Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
