You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
