Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
