My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize