If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
third nipple confirmed
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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