everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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