Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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