i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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