Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The feeling are messing with the penis
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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