How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
