oh god the rape fog is back!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
