Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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