I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
