I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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