am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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