i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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