I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
