I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
