i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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