If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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