I cut my penus on the lid.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
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I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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