I accidentally had phone sex last night
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
