So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize