just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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