My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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