wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
