We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
