There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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