when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
As shirtless as possible
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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