Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
