i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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