So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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