Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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