I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
ttyl tear gas
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
