Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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