I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
