I hate all girls vehemently.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
