If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
