Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
