your thong is hanging out like whoa
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
