So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
