end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize