; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Randomize
