I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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