so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
