I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
