Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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