I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
