we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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