So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
