you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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