Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
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I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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