Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize