Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
