I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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