Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
